K I M T H E W

From K:

Stella: Thrilled. She actually did a mini fist pump and yelled “yes!” and then danced around the kitchen repeating, “it’s a girl! It’s a girl!”

Oliver: Not so much. We actually had a little bit of a lower-lip quiver. I didn’t realize he’d care so much. I just had a nice talk with him about how great he’s going to be as a big brother to a little girl, because he’s already had practice with Stella. that seemed to help a little. Although his last comment as I left the room was: “I think I’m still going to think of some boy’s names, because maybe the doctor is wrong.”

LATER: So at dinner I said we will need to get Stella a new bed so we can turn hers back into baby crib. Stella asks if she can have bunk beds. Oliver tunes into this and informs me: “Yah, me too. I will be okay with having a baby girl if I can sleep in a top bunk.”

It would thus appear Oliver is willing to live with his new sibling’s gender, so long as he can extract concessions.

K: Oliver and Stella are again in the bath. And Oliver has, again, taking to giving Stella “tests” with the aid of foam letters and numbers he puts up on the bathtub wall. Only these days, Stella is much more clever. Oliver goes through his routine of putting up three letters and asking Stella which one is “orange” or which is the letter “J.” and Stella gets them all right. Oliver decides to switch it up.

O: (putting two letter “M”s on the wall.) Stella, Stella, OK, here is your next test. Which of these is the letter “M”?

S: They both are, Olibuh.

O: No, only one is. Which is it? Huh?

S: (looking confused, though not as confused as me): Uh, this one!

O: No. that is not right. It is the other one. You know why? Because the one you pointed to, I’m turning upside down, so now it is a “W.”

S: Uh. Oh.

O: Okay, here is your next test!

Oliver puts two little foam cars up on the wall.

O: OK, Stella, tell me which of these cars goes faster in real life. The red car, or the blue car?

S: I don’t know.

O: Sure you do. it’s easy.

S: Um, this one?

O: WRONG. It is not the blue one, it is red one. See, the red one looks MUCH faster.

S: Oh.

O: Okay, one more test!

Oliver puts two identical letter “O”s up on the wall.

O: This is the last one Stella, alright? Which of these is an “O” and which is a “zero”?

S: Huh?

O: Just point. Which is an “O” and which is a “zero”?

Stella points. She looks annoyed.

O: OOPS. Wrong again! It is the other way around.

Stella looks at Oliver. She looks not happy.

S: Now it my turn to give a test.

O: Really? Really? You are going to test me? Okay. do it.

Stella throws about 20 different foam objects on the wall.

S: Okay, Ohbur. Which of these starfish is like the “J,” under the letter, and also “4,” that is pink?

O: Um, Stella, that does not make any sense.

S: Yes it DOES Oyiber! It’s EASY. C’MON!

O: Oooooh, can you say it again?

S: Yah. Which is these “J” is like a blue starfish with a number that is pink like the letter “4”?

O: That is kind of tricky, Stella.

S: C’MON OYIBUH!!

O: Z?

S: NOPE. THAT IS WRONG. TRY AGAIN.

O: F?

S: NOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPEEEEEE

O: L?

S: WWWWRRRROOOONNNNNGGGGG.

O: I give up.

S: (with a smug look): Good.