Dogs

O: We need a dog, Mom.

Me: Yes! I would love a dog. Let’s ask daddy.

O: Yes!

Me: what kind of dog would you like?

Oliver thinks: We need a dog that speaks English, I think.

Me: Um, dogs don’t speak English, Oliver. They just speak ìdog.î They bark.

O: They don’t even speak Spanish?

Me: No

O: Oh. Well, we need to name the dog ìMarina.î

Me: Marina? Why Marina?

O: Because that is Italian.

Me: Uh, oh.

O: And she can have a nickname. Her nickname will be ìRitorni.î

Me: Why?

O: Because that is also Italian, MOM.

Me. Got it. Yes, but what kind of dog do you want? What color?

O: Purple and yellow

Me: Well, Oliver, dogs don’t usually come in purple and yellow. Most dogs are white or black or brown.

O: We need a white dog with black spots!

Me: That’s a dalmation! You want a dalmation?

O: (in a voice that suggests I’m retarded): No, MOM. We can not get a DALMATION. If we got a DALMATION, we’d have to get 101 and of them!

Me: Why?

O: Because that’s what it is in the movie. It is always 101 Dalmations. And that is a lot. And they can not all sleep in my room.

Me: I see. Well, do you want a big dog or a little dog?

O: I would like a medium-small dog. Because a big dog would not fit in the house. And a big dog would not fit in my mouth. Which is good. Because dogs are not for eating.

Me: Uhh, true.

O: Except if you are Chinese.